Here are some of my tips for low maintenance chastity play. I try to make sure I do some combination of these every day when J is locked up. They take hardly any time, and I know they make him feel loved. They’re little things that get magnified in his mind by the cage. Pick out the things you find easy to do or turn you on (for instance, limiting his clothing items to 4 because I want him to be as close to nude at all times is a turn on for me).
Playing at chastity is going to make him a bit friskier than usual, he might be pressing up against you, massaging you, stroking, kissing and trying to turn you on in any way he can and you might welcome the attention but usually I just have no time for it. In these moments I try to let him down easy and incorporate it into our game. Rather than a tired "not now, honey", I tell him with a simple "down, big boy" or "that's nice, but save your energy for a back and foot rub tonight" or "ease off honey, I don't want you to get too excited".
Remind him of his situation.
Of course he already knows he’s locked up and you have the key, but reminding him lets him know you’re thinking about him. You haven’t forgotten about him, you’re just waiting for the right time to make use of him. I’ll walk by J in the kitchen, give him a quick squeeze in front and ask “how are my toys doing? Still all locked up?” Or I might just say “being a keyholder is fun.”, “Aren’t you lucky to have such a fabulous keyholder?”, "Owning your cock and balls is so much fun" or "aren't you lucky you found a new owner for your cock." I’ve noticed that the more out-of-the-blue the comment is the bigger the impact it has on J. If he’s not really thinking about sex or expecting me to be thinking about it, mentioning his chastity jolts his libido into high gear.
Take possession of his genitalia.
Get in the habit of referring to his cock and balls as your cock and balls. Kiss him and ask “how are my cock and balls doing down there in your pants?” Or while sitting on the couch fast forwarding through a commercial with your Tivo, casually ask him “Are you taking good care of my cock and balls darling? One of these days I’m sure I’ll want to play with them.” If you get in this habit, then just a few words here and there add to his excitement and keep him happy and horny.
Turn routine requests into chastity play.
Instead of asking him to pick up a gallon of milk on his way home, text him “Your cock's owner wants to you pick up a gallon of milk on the way home.” Or say “a neck rub would earn you some much needed points with your cock's owner.” Creating the fantasy that you are holding his sex hostage to your whims is pretty powerful. Keep it fantasy and don’t abuse it (very much). Back rubs and foot rubs are nice even when I don’t feel very amorous, but they’re still physical things and J really likes it when I tie them to his chastity.
Text messages are another quick and easy way to keep the sexy going during the day. I sometimes ask for photographic proof that he's still locked up. I very occasionally send him a side shot of my breast, the curve of my hips, a close-up off face with a come hither look. It drives my man crazy. On rare occasions I text him that I am horny for his body and ask him to find a stall and shoot a video of him stripping completely nude (he cannot of course remove his chastity belt). Something about doing risky things for me out and about really drives him wild with desire.Tease him occasionally
Think about when you first met your partner, what did you do a whole lot of? Flirting, right? Essentially teasing. Playfully kissing your husband's neck while walking through the park. A little pat on the ass when you walk by. Playing with each other's hands as you hold them across a table. All of these subtle gestures are part of the bigger picture -- the build up to sex -- and are still major turn-ons. You can take teasing to the next level and pinch nipples through clothing or grab your husband's package over his pants and stroke it gently too of course. Just do it all. And there is no reason why all of this can't be done in public for added excitement.Sexting with risky photos
Fake blackmail
I told him that I so enjoy my "new husband" ever since J was locked in chastity that I don't know if I could handle it if he one day decided he wanted to stop the game. I occasionally show him how much material I have to blackmail him (I never would blackmail him for real of course, it is just a playful way to make the game more exciting for him) and tell him things could turn really nasty if he ever decides no longer to play the game. This gives him a playful sense of me taking the game to the extreme. I collected this material from his text messages or videos I asked him to make. I usually ask him something that takes a lot of work or that stretches his limits after I've shown or emailed him the blackmail folder, just to make the blackmailing a little bit more realistic. Sometimes I just take a picture for blackmail purposes, using the blackmail pictures I already have as leverage. It turns him on and it is fun for me. Every time I take blackmail pictures I email them with the subject "blackmail" to myself so that I can easily find them if I want to use them in a play setting.
If he ever asks you if you are blackmailing him for real or if you are just playing, be truthful and admit to him you are just playing. You don't want him to walk around with this kind of worry on his shoulders!
If he ever asks you if you are blackmailing him for real or if you are just playing, be truthful and admit to him you are just playing. You don't want him to walk around with this kind of worry on his shoulders!
Muse about the length of his lockup.
Sometimes I’ll tell J that I’ve decided to let him out the next weekend, then the next night tell him I’ve changed my mind and I don’t know when I’ll let him out. Sometimes I’ll tell him I’ve been wondering how long I should leave him locked up and just leave it at that. No further information, just that I was thinking about it. I’ll ask him if he thinks he could go six months, or a year. If he asks if I’m planning to keep him locked up that long, I’ll just shrug and say “maybe.” It’s another verbal tease that takes very little energy from me but amps J up.
His denial will make him more frisky and more eager to touch you. You can use this to your advantage by giving him the opportunity to pamper you. Personally, I love foot and back rubs, massages and him pampering me in a relaxing bath. In his mind, he gets to play with my body while I get to enjoy his attention and ever increasing skill at relaxing my body. If he tries to move to the next stage, I simply give him an evil grin and tell him that's all his getting, so he better make the most of it.
Other times when I unlock him but we are watching a show together I order him to keep his member erect by stroking it, but no coming and no edging. He can only touch it when his member starts to soften under penalty of a full week locked up with no release.
When locked
When I read a blog or my mail I've been known to give him pussy licking exercises. Originally we did it with a cut out water melon, more recently we moved on to a flesh light. I have him strip to his chastity belt, place the plate with the water melon he prepared on the floor and tell him to exercise his tongue until I am ready. It drives him crazy thinking he is exercising his tongue for the real deal. I also learned that his bum makes a great footstool during this exercise, which further drives home his idea about being used.
None of those things take much time or energy from me. They’re easy to do on days when I’m stressed or tired or just not feeling very sexual. And they keep J feeling loved and cared for. I’ve really gotten into the habit of doing them. So much that I usually keep doing them even when J isn’t locked up. That's not really a problem, but if he wakes up to my hand on his balls and he's not locked up, I'm not getting out of bed without finishing what I started! Of course that just makes his lockups more frequent and even more delightful for both of us and is the reason why I prefer to have him locked up most of the time.
Have fun, and play safe you kids!
Fondle his balls and nipples often.
No matter how busy or tired I am, I can always find two minutes in bed to do this. I don’t even have to remove the CB. Our sleep schedules are a little different. J’s a night owl and I’m a morning person, but that doesn’t stop us. When I’m going to bed I just whisper in his ear that I want to see him in the bedroom. He never says no! I fondle his poor trapped balls for a few minutes (two to five is plenty) or suck his nipples and then say good night. He can go back to his computer after that. If I feel like
kissing a bit, I can do that, but if I don’t I just tell him to stand there and keep still while I “play with my toys.” I wake up before he does in the mornings too. But he never seems to mind if I wake him up by playing with his balls! Again, just a few minutes. Enough to get a groan or two out of him and then I go take my shower or get my breakfast.
Sometimes I lay him down and softly run my nails over his whole body, just barely skimming all his hot spots, until I tease him into a frenzy.
kissing a bit, I can do that, but if I don’t I just tell him to stand there and keep still while I “play with my toys.” I wake up before he does in the mornings too. But he never seems to mind if I wake him up by playing with his balls! Again, just a few minutes. Enough to get a groan or two out of him and then I go take my shower or get my breakfast.
Sometimes I lay him down and softly run my nails over his whole body, just barely skimming all his hot spots, until I tease him into a frenzy.
Have him pamper you
His denial will make him more frisky and more eager to touch you. You can use this to your advantage by giving him the opportunity to pamper you. Personally, I love foot and back rubs, massages and him pampering me in a relaxing bath. In his mind, he gets to play with my body while I get to enjoy his attention and ever increasing skill at relaxing my body. If he tries to move to the next stage, I simply give him an evil grin and tell him that's all his getting, so he better make the most of it.Show him some skin
Taking off your top or dressing in skimpy clothing doesn't take much effort, but it will drive him wild with desire.
One of my forum friends doesn't believe in showing too much skin. She almost never lets her husband see her fully naked. Instead she wears very revealing underwear and when she allows to him to kiss her he must do it through the fabric of the panties. When she wants skin on skin contact, she blindfolds her man most of the times and has him wear gloves so he can't feel her all that often either. For some reason, her way of making complete nudity a very, very rare thing excites and fascinates me, but I never felt the energy to take J there, although he thinks it sounds deliciously frustrating.
One of my forum friends doesn't believe in showing too much skin. She almost never lets her husband see her fully naked. Instead she wears very revealing underwear and when she allows to him to kiss her he must do it through the fabric of the panties. When she wants skin on skin contact, she blindfolds her man most of the times and has him wear gloves so he can't feel her all that often either. For some reason, her way of making complete nudity a very, very rare thing excites and fascinates me, but I never felt the energy to take J there, although he thinks it sounds deliciously frustrating.
Have him show some skin
Sometimes I tell him to strip naked, with or without his belt on, most of the times I can't be bothered taken off his belt. Male nudity doesn't turn me on as much as female nudity turns him on, but he gets a kick out of being the object of my lustful desire. I tell him I just want to be able to admire his body at a moments notice. Since we have 2 boys, I don't often get the chance to have him do this for me, but it is a huge turn on for him to be desired in this way and it makes him feel sexy and wanted.
Treat him like a sex object
When he's in the kitchen I often stroke or pat his bum and make a little horny sound. Sometimes when we are alone I even ask him to flash that gorgeous bum, he then pulls his trousers down and playfully shows it to me.
I also expect him to be lean and mean, telling him I married him as much for his body as I did for his money ;-)
I tell him that it turns me on knowing he is always as close to nude as possible. One of my conditions for chastity play is that he'll only ever wear 4 items of clothing. And yes, socks count as 2 items. So do shoes. He usually is dressed in only a shirt, his trousers and shoes. On cold days, he swaps his shirt for a pullover. If it gets really cold, I allow him a fifth clothing item, but only for outside. The idea of always being as close to nude as possible for me turns us both on, but especially him.
I also starting calling sex "pussy worship" to give him a greater sense of being used for his body.
When unlocked
When unlocked
I usually only unlock him for cleanings when I am about to watch a show he doesn't like. I stay around him during his cleaning to ensure he doesn't mess with my property, all part of "taking the chastity thing serious".
Sometimes I take him to the living room and watch my show. I tell him I want to enjoy an unrestricted view of his naked body while I watch my show and order him to tie his hands above his head (his cuffs are locked behind the closed door and secured in the frame with a device we found here). I tell him his penis better stay erect forcing him to use his imagination to keep his member stiff.
Sometimes I take him to the living room and watch my show. I tell him I want to enjoy an unrestricted view of his naked body while I watch my show and order him to tie his hands above his head (his cuffs are locked behind the closed door and secured in the frame with a device we found here). I tell him his penis better stay erect forcing him to use his imagination to keep his member stiff.
Other times when I unlock him but we are watching a show together I order him to keep his member erect by stroking it, but no coming and no edging. He can only touch it when his member starts to soften under penalty of a full week locked up with no release.
When locked
When I read a blog or my mail I've been known to give him pussy licking exercises. Originally we did it with a cut out water melon, more recently we moved on to a flesh light. I have him strip to his chastity belt, place the plate with the water melon he prepared on the floor and tell him to exercise his tongue until I am ready. It drives him crazy thinking he is exercising his tongue for the real deal. I also learned that his bum makes a great footstool during this exercise, which further drives home his idea about being used.
Take chastity seriously.
Don’t leave the key laying around or act like it’s no big deal if he gets out before you’re ready to release him. Do surprise “inspections” to make sure he’s still locked up. Ask him if he’s tried to get out, or tried to get at the key without permission. Use a no-nonsense manner to let him know it’s important to you that he only get out of his chastity device when you want him out. Every once in a while mention you’d someday like to get a more secure device. That keeps him from starting to doubt your commitment to the game when you haven’t seriously teased him for a while. Remember that’s he’s committed 24/7. The whole idea is he can’t check out of the game until you let him, so reminding him that you’re still in it helps.
Travel gives me a wonderful opportunity to show him I am serious about this. No way will I mess with the TSA by having my husband go through security with a steel belt. He has to pack it in his luggage. Then I play a little game called "protecting my assets". I tell him that it saddens me that I have to let him out and that he better not touch "my property". That I don't want to lose all the benefits I have been working so hard for all these months. He better be real sweet to me during the trip. I make sure he's always with someone or always in my sight. If he has to go to the toilet, I time him. I'm also a real bitch about it. "Oh no, honey, I am not letting you out of my sight until you are securely locked again. We're just beginning this trip and I will not lose my perfect husband to a quick jerk off in some airport stall." I time him even on the plane. All this does is show him my commitment and how I value his chastity and it adds a lovely game element to the whole trip. And while I may not be as hard core as I let on, I do value his chastity and what it does to him. As soon as we get to the hotel room and are settled and de-stressed, I have him put on his belt. I kiss him and tell him I feel so much better and more secure now that he is locked up again and that he needs to treat me real special during our holiday and help me de-stress after an eventful trip moving two children and endless luggage half way around the world and on top of that having to deal with my men being unlocked. Again, I exaggerate the whole situation to him, but traveling is stressful, I just relate it in a way that he can appreciate and understand and makes his juices flow. And he is all too happy to treat me like his queen after a conversation like that. The thought of my nerves being a little bit frailer than his dealing with the rigors of travel never occurs to him due to the chastity ruse. He simply deeply appreciates how deeply I care about his and my sexual joy and its something that helps him make sense of my moods in his mind. Women want love to be proven through kindness, intimacy and attention, men want love to be proven through sex. All he takes away from this is how deeply I love him by valuing his sexuality. Travel doesn't stress him out nearly as much as it does me, but a lack of sexual intimacy might make him despondent. And in his mind, by playing the game, his wife just gave him more sex than any other man could ever dream of.
Travel gives me a wonderful opportunity to show him I am serious about this. No way will I mess with the TSA by having my husband go through security with a steel belt. He has to pack it in his luggage. Then I play a little game called "protecting my assets". I tell him that it saddens me that I have to let him out and that he better not touch "my property". That I don't want to lose all the benefits I have been working so hard for all these months. He better be real sweet to me during the trip. I make sure he's always with someone or always in my sight. If he has to go to the toilet, I time him. I'm also a real bitch about it. "Oh no, honey, I am not letting you out of my sight until you are securely locked again. We're just beginning this trip and I will not lose my perfect husband to a quick jerk off in some airport stall." I time him even on the plane. All this does is show him my commitment and how I value his chastity and it adds a lovely game element to the whole trip. And while I may not be as hard core as I let on, I do value his chastity and what it does to him. As soon as we get to the hotel room and are settled and de-stressed, I have him put on his belt. I kiss him and tell him I feel so much better and more secure now that he is locked up again and that he needs to treat me real special during our holiday and help me de-stress after an eventful trip moving two children and endless luggage half way around the world and on top of that having to deal with my men being unlocked. Again, I exaggerate the whole situation to him, but traveling is stressful, I just relate it in a way that he can appreciate and understand and makes his juices flow. And he is all too happy to treat me like his queen after a conversation like that. The thought of my nerves being a little bit frailer than his dealing with the rigors of travel never occurs to him due to the chastity ruse. He simply deeply appreciates how deeply I care about his and my sexual joy and its something that helps him make sense of my moods in his mind. Women want love to be proven through kindness, intimacy and attention, men want love to be proven through sex. All he takes away from this is how deeply I love him by valuing his sexuality. Travel doesn't stress him out nearly as much as it does me, but a lack of sexual intimacy might make him despondent. And in his mind, by playing the game, his wife just gave him more sex than any other man could ever dream of.
None of those things take much time or energy from me. They’re easy to do on days when I’m stressed or tired or just not feeling very sexual. And they keep J feeling loved and cared for. I’ve really gotten into the habit of doing them. So much that I usually keep doing them even when J isn’t locked up. That's not really a problem, but if he wakes up to my hand on his balls and he's not locked up, I'm not getting out of bed without finishing what I started! Of course that just makes his lockups more frequent and even more delightful for both of us and is the reason why I prefer to have him locked up most of the time.
Have fun, and play safe you kids!
